my best self

I love getting up early.

My favorite kind of day starts waking up  just before the sun comes up, I go strait to my yard, in the summer no boots needed I head out in my bare feet.

The ground is almost always wet and cold from the dew (or rain). As I water my garden I breath in the smell of the early morning air, cool and moist and I watch the sky slowly change from pearl gray to a warm pink and then bright blue. This  is one of the moments when I feel powerful, strong, quite, and at peace.

Most days don't start this way, and most of the time my days are harried, and hectic taking care of my two little babes, working, and running my house. There is crying and tantrums, messes and many times I wish things were different than they are at the moment. I answer the ones I love sharply, I snap at my girls, and many times make decisions I regret later.

I know I am my harshest critic. I am keenly aware of my humanity.

I want to use this space to catalogue when I succeed in enjoying the things that make my life sweet and wonderful, and to note the times when I am living my best self.